Are you there God? It's me Toneri!
by petran
Summary: One-shot. While he deals with the aftermath of his crushing defeat in "The Last", Toneri hears a weird voice inside his head, which tells him exactly where he went wrong. Can this voice help him find true happiness?


**It's been very long guys! Sorry for the lack of updates.**

**First of all... ****_I am terribly sorry for how the "Dual Hinata Action" Omake chapter in "Game of Clones" turned out._**** The truth of the matter is that I didn't really know how to handle it. I didn't want to write Hinata as a sex-crazed bisexual and I really wanted to take a different approach than what is usually seen in other smut fics. In retrospect maybe I shouldn't have written it, but I received too many requests for it!**

**So, the end result was dissapointing for a lot of you, and for this, I apologize.**

**Oh, well... At least Not-So-Gentlefist's omake for that story was _hilarious._ Writing the story was worth it just for the laugh I got while reading it. Again, If you haven't read his stories yet, do so!**

**Now... about the "Hinata POV" Bonus chapter in "More than enough..."**

**When I did the fandub for "Fuyu No Owari Ne", I realized that I got a few things wrong about Hinata's character, so I am doing a few rewrites in some of the chapters and I am adding a prologue to the story which showcases ****_exactly_**** what sort of nightmares Naruto is having and why he is becoming distant from Hinata in the story...**

**...which is why ****_this_**** story exists.**

**The prologue for "More Than Enough" ended up becoming too dark and depressing, so I wanted to create something downright silly and funny to wash the bad aftertaste that it left in my mouth. It originally was an omake for the prologue, but it ended up becoming a bit too long. So I am releasing it as a separate story. I hope you like it!**

**By the way... Can you guess who "Kami" is? If you do... let me know in the reviews!**

* * *

"Spoken Dialogue"

**"Kami's Voice"**

* * *

A white haired eyeless figure wandered around the remains of his castle. He was now all alone, his place was in ruins, all of his puppets were now lifeless and immobile…

...and his jaw still _hurt_ from that punch.

"Kami, _help me_!" he cried out in the heavens as he stressed his hands upwards. "Tell me where have I gone wrong!"

To his surprise he heard a loud booming voice inside his head answer back.

"**Well, would you care to tell me what have you done so far?"**

If Toneri had eyes they would have been shot open wide.

"Who is this?"

"**Just call me… Kami…" **the voice replied.

"**Now, please tell me what you've done so far."**

Reluctantly Toneri decided to talk to the voice… it's not like he had anything else better to do.

"Well, I've met this girl…"  
"**It's always a girl…"**  
"What?"  
"**Nothing! Go on…"**  
"I saw her crying in a swing. Tears were flowing down her face."

The voice inside his head brightened up...

"**That means she went through some sort of tragic heartbreak. That's perfect! You had all the flags set up for a 'rebound romance' story!"**

Toneri was confused. What sort of "flags" was "Kami" talking about?

"**So… what did you do?"**  
"I tried to kidnap her while I sent my puppets to kidnap her sister.

"**You did WHAT?!"** The voice inside his head was now notably angry** "WHAT SORT OF IDIOT ARE YOU?!"**

Toneri closed his ears in an effort to keep the voice away,

"Was this the wrong thing to do?  
"**OF COURSE IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO!"**  
"So, what was I supposed to do?"  
"**YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HER AND TAKE HER OUT ON A DATE, YOU FREAKING MORON!"**  
"A date?"

He heard the voice try to take a few deep breaths and count to ten, as if it was trying to relax.

"**Yes! You were supposed to take her out on the town and show her a good time, and that there is a man, namely **_**you**_**, who can make her forget the man who hurt her."**  
"Oh…"

There was a small pause.

"**And what's this thing you mentioned about kidnapping her sister?"**  
"I needed her eyes to complete my earth-destroying superweapon."  
"**Why the hell did you need an earth-destroying superweapon for? Are you some sort of 'supervillain'?"**  
"What's a 'supervillain?"

Toneri could swear that he could hear Kami throw something and pull his hair in frustration.

"I… uh… needed to punish humanity for using chakra as a weapon…"  
"**Bullshit!"**  
"But! My clan got wiped out and…"  
""**BULL…. SHIT! There's something else isn't there?"**  
"Uh…"

It seemed like the voice inside his head had heard these sort of stories before.

"**You are talking to a freaking divine being! Don't lie to me! Now, tell me why you **_**really**_ **needed an earth-destroying superweapon."**

Toneri decided to just spill. If you couldn't tell the truth to Kami, then who?

"A girl once told me that she would go out with me if I was the last man on earth…"  
"**Are you sure she didn't say that she **_**wouldn't**_ **go out with you **_**even **_**if you were the last man on earth?"**

A troubled frown formed on Toneri's face as he struggled to remember.

"I don't know… I don't remember exactly…"

Toneri could hear somebody bang his head on a wall.

"Uh… Kami?"  
"**I'm still here…"**

He heard the voice sigh heavily.

"**Look… Let me level with you here.. You blew it! You completely messed up every chance you might have had with this girl. My advice to you is to forget her, move on, and find someone else more suitable. Somebody whose sister you **_**didn't **_**try to kidnap. And this time try to properly talk to them and court them. Without any kidnappings!"**

"Uhm…. thanks for the advice?"

"**I'm not getting paid enough for this crap…"**

* * *

A few weeks later…

Naruto and Hinata were walking around town enjoying a nice day around the town in matching shirts. They were both smiling brightly as they held hands and enjoyed each other's company. They were whispering words of love and longing with a heavy sigh inside each other's ear...

Yes… they were _that_ sort of couple...

As they leaned against each other in order to share a small peck on the lips. A bright flash of light appeared in front of the young couple with a loud boom. Naruto instinctively pushed Hinata behind him as he prepared himself to face whatever danger was about to appear. His face widened in shock as he saw who was now standing in front of him.

"Netori?!  
"It's _Toneri_!"  
"What are you doing here? I thought you had decided to stay on the moon?"  
"I have changed my mind… There is someone on Earth who is very important to me…"  
"Stand back Toneri! I won't let you have Hinata!"  
"I'm talking about _you_ Naruto."

There was only one response that Naruto could muster at this.

"Huh?! _What_?!"

Toneri leaned closer to Naruto and put his arms around his waist pulling his face closer.

"Ever since you have saved my life back on the moon, I wasn't able to forget about you. Your strength impressed me and your kindness touched my heart. You are the _one_ person I want to spend the rest of my life with…."  
"Er…"  
"So, what do you say, we both go out on a date and see how we get along with each other? I want to find out more about you and your…"

His romantic speech was cut short as a fist connected to his jaw and sent him flying towards the nearest wall. He immediately activated his green orbs and got prepared to fight whatever it was that just punched him. He heard a very familiar female voice in the distance.

"Byakugan!"

Was that really _her_?

"You are in range of my attack…"

Well, if it was really _her_, he really had nothing to worry about. She was a weak girl. He managed to subdue her just fine on the moon. All he had to do was pull her from her hair, put a green orb inside her and...

"_Jyuken! 64 Lion Fists!_"

The next thing Toneri knew a bright blue flash was near him and hitting all of his tenketsu spots with huge lion-shaped punches. He tried to counter-attack with his green orbs but the blue flash managed to smash them before they had a chance to even approach.

The flurry of lion-shaped punches drained his strength and completely nullified his chakra. He felt an enormous amount of raw pain as even more punches started to connect. It was more painful than Naruto's punch. It was unlike anything else he had experienced before.

When the flurry of punches stopped, he looked upwards to see a very angry and frustrated Hinata, with her byakugan fully activated staring down at him. He then looked at his side to see what was left of his green power orbs.

"My balls... My precious family's jewels... "  
"I _broke_ them."

She effortlessly picked up Toneri with her and held him up by the throat against a wall.

"Listen to me, you eyeless, white haired albino _freak_. You have kidnapped my sister, removed her eyes to transplant into you, nearly destroyed the world and turned me into a mindless puppet when your moronic advances weren't impressing me. I have decided to show you mercy this time because Naruto at some point decided that your pathetic life was worth _something_…"

Her free hand lighted up with a blue lion-shaped flame...

"...But if you ever come near my boyfriend again, _mess_ with him, me, my family, my friends, my mailman… _Anybody_… then you, you sorry piece of alien trash, will _disappear_! I will lion-punch you so hard that you won't even be a bloody stain on the road!"

She bought her face closer to his, so that he could see the pure unadultarated anger in her eyes.

"Now...Do I make myself _clear_?"

Toneri silently nodded at his ex-love-interest while trying hard not to turn his white robes brown.

She let him fall down into a pathetic heap on the ground, deactivated her byakugan, and turned to face her boyfriend who was still standing agape at what he just witnessed.

"Are you ready for our date?" she told him with a warm bright smile.

Naruto tried to get his tongue rolling again.

"Uhm… Yeah…"  
"Shall we go for ramen at Ichiraku's? I am _starving_!"  
"Y-Yeah…"

Naruto placed his arms around Hinata's waist and got back to resuming his date with her, while making a mental note to never **ever **get on Hinata's bad side.

* * *

"Are you there Kami? It's me Toneri-san!"

"**Yes I'm here…"**  
"Did you see all that?"  
"**I most definitely did."**  
"And… what do you think?"  
"**I think It's about time I handed in my resignation... "**  
"Kami! Wait! I…"  
**"I quit! Effective immediately! Goodbye Netori-san."**  
"I said it's 'Toneri'! Kami? Kami!"

There was no response...

* * *

Keima took off his glasses and rubbed his temples intensely.

"It's not just my idea is it? My targets really _have_ been getting more stupid lately."

He looked at the contraption that Haqua had left him to beta-test. It was the latest invention by the New Hell's R&amp;D division. It was supposed to allow New Hell to establish contact with new dimensions, new "lost souls" and maybe find a way to harness new potential sources of psychic energy, that would allow New Hell to escape its current predicament.

He soon found out that there were indeed plenty of "lost souls"in other dimensions…

...and that they were mostly a bunch of jerkoffs!

First there was this obnoxious kid with that deadly notebook.

Then that "Lulu" kid with the power of "Reass" or something, which made people do his bidding.

And now this...

It wasn't that they were stupid or something, it was that they always chose to interpret his words in completely the wrong way. The notebook kid ended up believing that he was the God of that world (all he had told him was that he should use his power properly) while the Lulu kid decided to start a revolution...

At least he convinced him to reconcile with his estranged cousin... He sincerely hoped things turned out OK for him.

But this... _This _was a completely new level of idiocy. He has had just about enough of this.

A bubbly girlie voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Onee-sama! "

He turned around to look at the girl that he now knew as his sister.

"What is it, Elsie?"

"Yui is downstairs and says that she would like to come up here and play some video games with you. "

He knew not to fall for this trick twice.

"Was she holding a wig and a skirt?"  
"Uhm... Yeah... And a box of makeup."

Keima sighed... Ever since that date when her goddess awakened, she had been trying to get him to do this sort of thing again...

"Tell her I have the flu. A _really_ _bad _case of the flu."

"OK. Say, Onee-sama... " she said as she looked at the weird contraption that Keima was tinkering with..."What is this?"

He really didn't want her to know. Elsie was now completely human, and all her previous memories of her time with her "Onee-sama" had been changed to memories of a completely normal, and very happy childhood. As far as everyone knew she was always human, always his sister, and always a part of his own personal history. She needn't get involved with that heaven/hell thing again.

"Do you remember the time when you asked me what a _hysterectomy _was?"  
"Yeah, you told me that I wouldn't understand and that I **really** wouldn't want to know."  
"Yeah... Well... Same answer..."

This seemed to satisfy the little girl who smiled brightly at him.

"Oh... OK. Dinner will be ready in an hour or so. Don't be late, you know how mom gets."  
"I'll be there... "

The girl smiled once again and shut the door leaving him alone with the contraption and his thoughts once more. He decided to finish writing his findings about the device.

_'Completely unpredictable and useless.'_

An 'incoming message' tune was heard coming from his mobile. He smiled as he saw who sent it.

"Chihiro..."

If someone had told him a couple of years ago that he "the God of conquest" would end up falling for the plain girl, who would otherwise be a background character in any sort of dating sim or anime, he would have told them to cut the crap and stop smoking the glass pipe. But after his crazy adventure was over, he figured out that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her. So he confessed to her, and, after an initial setback, wherein she told him to go die in a fire (he couldn't blame her, he was forced to break her heart to keep her safe), they began dating.

To his surprise Keima rather enjoyed her company...

... Perhaps because she wasn't an archetype... She was **real**...

And as much as he had described reality as a "shitty game" he was still feeling compelled to play it and beat it.

He covered up the contraption and got up. He decided to get down in the kitchen and help his mom and Elsie with the dinner instead of playing video games.

"The Real... " beckoned.

* * *

**I hope you liked the story guys! The improved version of "More than Enough..." is coming soon!**


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